My birthday weekend wrapped up and I was left on this odd weathered Monday with a lot of thoughts and emotions.
I’ve realized a lot and can honestly say that 26 feels different.
I’ll start with the fact that my birthday itself put a lot into perspective for me. What do I want? And who do I want to share and experience this with? I want to say thank you to all the people that didn’t show up on Saturday and thank you to those who didn’t even call or text. You doing that was essential and one of the greatest gifts I received this year.
I’ve always been the type of person to put a lot of concern into other’s opinions and what would make them happy and in that… I would so often forget that I’m supposed to be happy and cared for as well. If I’m not the first person doing that fully… why should anyone else step in to do it for me? Different pieces of advice from strong women in my life ring around in my head…
“This is a season that God is giving you to be on your own, and that means more than just romantic relationships”
“Not everyone is meant to move forward with you”
“Not everyone is your friend”
“Quality over quantity”
The list goes on and all circles back to the fact that I spend too much of my time genuinely worried about people who do not worry about me. What is the point in hanging on to moments that are supposed to be just that…. a moment. Sometimes letting go and looking at the bigger picture is more than necessary, realizing who deserves your love, attention, and most importantly your time. Who deserves to share your successful and monumental moments with you? And who is going to be in your corner when you need them to be? I’m coming to terms with letting go of a lot of anxiety ridden thoughts I had from my weekend. I worried a lot about things that in retrospect don’t matter. I was surrounded by love and laughter all weekend and that’s more than I could ask for.
I’m taking this time to pause, regroup, and decipher exactly… Where Do I Go From Here after my first two pages of Chapter 26.